Waiting

So today was the first day of classes. I had two. "Comparing Governments" and "We Came From Monkeys" The first one is going to be interesting, the second..well..let's just say that it's not my cup of tea. I came out of the classroom feeling like my brain was overloaded. So the semester starts. But what I'm really looking forward to is my last class tomorrow. Why? Because it's my Russian class! "Reading and Speaking" Here I come! I'm really really excited. I miss Russia so stinking much and miss speaking it, and the culture and everything. It's so bad, coming back because I seriously think about it every day. I seriously cannot watch American fireworks displays anymore without automatically remembering the couple I saw in Yakutsk, and the announcers calling out propoganda and the shouts of everyone going "Ura!" Gah! I want to go back to Russia, but in the meantime, I'll have to settle for becoming active in the Russian department.

What I Love About College

So, I've discovered that there's something very special about being at college? I mean, it's really great so far although I haven't started classes yet (They start tomorrow) so maybe it'll get worse once they do, but somehow I doubt it. My favorite thing so far about being in college though is FREE STUFF!!!! I mean seriously. I thought the commercial building at the fair was great but that's child's play compared to a college campus. The past week my collection of free stuff includes Two SPU t-shirts, a Laundry Bag, a change purse, a little backpack, ten dollar gift card to Panera bread, a key chain light and whistle, and a key chain pen. I have a lanyard that has my room key on it along with some other things, and the only thing I actually bought was the lanyard. It's like people are just dying to give stuff to college students. It's absolutely awesome!

Another thing that I like is meeting completely random new people. It's so fun and easy and acceptable on a college campus to go up to someone and be like "Hi, I don't know you" and start talking to them. Okay, maybe not those exact words, but you know what I mean. Besides, if you don't talk to random people, you don't learn anything.

Finally, college is great because there are always interesting things to do and usually they are free. Last night I went to see the movie version of The Kite Runner which was our summer reading book. This week I've also been to a dorm-floor jam session, learned about guys who play the card game Magic and eaten dinner with several random groups of people. I am seriously just eating this up.

Oh and speaking of "eating up" Let me tell you that the food situation here is different. The Center is where it's at with Chinese, burgers, bagels and such, oh and ice cream, really good ice cream. I go there a lot because it's the closest eatery to my dorm. I get lazy and don't always want to walk clear across campus for food. Though there is a good place on the other side with amazing milkshakes. The problem with the food though is it's so easy. It doesn't feel like your spending money at all. See, when I'm at home and getting ready to go through the drive through, I stop and think "okay, how much money do I have? Do I really want to spend X amount." But with the meal plan it's all on my SPU ID card and you just swipe and go. They aren't teaching good money management here but it's really convenient. "ooh, I feel like a rootbeer float" swipe!

And so, I guess I'd just like to say that I definitely recommend college because, well, it's just completely awesome!

New Blog

So, I am a member of a forum for exchange students. I hadn't been on in a while due to all this preparing for college stuff, but I logged on today and found out about a kid who's going to spend their exchange year in Russia in the city of Niryungrei. This is particularly exciting for me because Niryungrei is a city in the Sakha Republic. In case you're interested, here's the student's blog.

Russia Bound

I look forward to following this blog.

Stress

I move in tomorrow. Into a college dorm, sort of a place of my own. So why am I not excited about it? Well, to be honest, it's anti-climatic. I mean come on. I spent the last year in Russia for Pete's sake. After a fourteen hour time difference, moving half an hour away seems like nothing. Am I worried about my roommate? Well, not really. I mean we at least speak the same language. Will things there be different. Well, this is America so basic culture is the same. Yeah, I think that college while it's not going to be a breeze, it's something I can deal with. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Russia's put some stuff into perspective for me.

Though life isn't a box of cherries either. I'm rather stressed at the moment, mostly because I'm trying to work out my schedule. As I mentioned, I had a meeting with SPU's head of the Russian Department, and the good news is that he seemed to be rather impressed with my "mad Russian skillz" heh. Basically, he told me to drop my "Where in the World Are We?" Class in order to take either "Speaking and Writing" or "Today's Writers." Both of which are Russian classes, but he couldn't remember which one was at the same time as "WITWAW?" no problem. Okay, so I figure no problem. I'll talk to my Advisor and all will be well. Except that I did some checking and have discovered that the Russian classes I'm supposed to be taking don't fall at the same time as "WITWAW?" Blin! Blin! Blin! Chyort! So after much thinking about it and schedule studying, I'm thinking that I'm going to be taking my math class in the evening in order to take "Speaking and Writing". But that's twenty one credit hours, and I'm not sure I can take all that when I have a couple of hard classes this semester. Hard classes in Addition to my Math. So at the moment, I'm looking into dropping my math and taking it next semester. I'd rather put off math than Russian. The latter is too Important to lose.

The World Homesickness and Final Preparations

So For those of you who've been living under a rock the last week or so, the big news of the day is that Georgia and Russia are practically at war. And everyone's freaking out. Especially about the fact that Russia supposedly is overreacting. And maybe they are. But I find myself in Inexplicable ways both defending and putting down my adopted country. When people talk about how bad Russia's being I'm quick to point out that "In case everyone's forgotten, Georgia's the one who started it." But then at the same time sometimes in the next sentence I tell people about how carefully we need to watch Russia because that's how the CCCP (Soviet Union) got all that land back in the day. They just never left after the war.

I find the whole attitude towards the United States to be interesting too. Sometimes I feel like Everyone goes around hating us, and telling us that we're not the world's police and that we need to keep our noses to ourselves, yet when stuff like this happens, everyone wants us to come and save them. It doesn't make any sense to me.

In other, more personal news, I've been particularly homesick lately. Homesick for Russia that is. I've just been hurting. I don't know if I'm really homesick for Yakutsk itself, but I miss Russia. The culture, the language, everything. I miss speaking Russian and all the books in the bookstore being in Russian. I miss having Chai and the culture that goes with it. I miss everything on TV being Russian and am depressed that in watching the olympics here, they only show the American athletes.

Then I also get my little freakouts. For example, yesterday I pulled out my khomus to play it and realized that it was all rusted. Naturally, this made me completely freak out and as I result I burst into my parents' room at like one in the morning because I didn't know what to do and was terrified it was ruined. Mom told me that sand paper might word very gently. I said that I wanted to wait until morning to do it because if I tried to do it last night I was tired and freaking out and was sure I'd mess it up. That worked out though, because my dad, who'd been asleep (Or at least we thought he was) heard the whole thing and this morning before leaving for work, he looked on the internet how to clean rust off delicate things (I do put the Khomus in my mouth after all.) So this morning mom and I set to work and with a combination of Lemon Juice, Toothpaste, a bit of steel wool and some vodka, got my khomus mostly better and much prettier than it has been in a while. Henceforth, I will be taking much much better care of it.

In other other news, I'm moving into the Smart dorm at SPU on Tuesday. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this. I mean in someways I'm really looking forward to it and in others I'm not. I'm also upset because I don't know that I have room in my Schedule for a Russian class this semester. The good news is that I'm talking to the Doctor who's head of the russian department on Campus tomorrow. I'm hoping if he can't get me into something, he can at least offer suggestions to keep from loosing my Russian, which by the way, I already feel like I'm loosing. It's not nearly as much in my head now as it used to be. That's very frustrating. I'll let you all know how the meeting goes.

Walking

So I thought I would dedicate an entire post to walking. Okay, or maybe not the entire post, maybe just half of it. But you see this is a really big issue for me and I guess in some ways, it's a part of reverse culture shock. See here in America, you can get your driver's license at the age of 16. Okay, great fine. We drive a lot, especially where I live because there's no sidewalks for walking, town's a way off and there's not really any public transportation. Okay, I guess technically there is but it's so inconvenient and expensive that you might just as well drive. So I got my license when I was seventeen and the world was whole and I tooled around with my friends and decided that I was cool. Then, I decided to go to Russia. I was kind of depressed that the rule was I wasn't allowed to drive. "Man," I thought (rather ignorantly in retrospect) "I'm gonna miss driving." And I did, but I got by. How? Well, because God gave me a set of two working legs, that's how. So I started walking. I mean. that's what you have to do when you don't have a car and don't want to pay for a bus ride because they raised the price by two roubles.

So what does this have to do with Reverse Culture Shock? Well, let me put it this way. I went from driving everywhere to driving nowhere. Which wasn't nearly as bad as going from Walking everywhere to Walking nowhere. I really really miss walking. More than I thought I would. I mean. I really really liked walking. NOw It's not nearly as convenient to walk places so I don't. As a result, I feel fat and lazy. Plus my legs have gotten to the point where they feel cramped all the time. I'm always trying to stretch them and stuff As I sit or lay or whatever, but it doesn't help. They just feel cramped up. So I'm seriously thinking about walking four miles into the little town near us. Maybe take a day next week and do it. Go to the library or something. It's hard though to motivate myself just to walk for the sake of walking. I mean I did it in Yakutsk, but Usually I could find something to entertain myself among the various stores I passed. Just randomly walking, out in the middle of the country, well, it's not as much fun. I mean, it is, but it's just not the same.

Dealing With People

So I've been home a couple of weeks now. Sometimes it's just...strange. I'm completely and utterly sick of people asking me how Russia was. My typical answer is different. How do you really answer that? Because you can't just say "good." I mean, some parts of it weren't really that good. I usually answer "Different" though Sometimes I just feel like being rude and I want to say "Do you really care or are you just asking to be polite?" The other question I'm sick of is "Have you re-acclimated yet?" My usual answer to this is something along the lines of "Somewhat" or "eh.." But I seriously think that the next person who asks me that is going to get an earful of Russian.

I miss speaking Russian tons by the way. The other night I came home from somewhere and I just started speaking Russian to my mom. Naturally, she didn't understand it. So I started trying to tell her what different words meant but without telling her in English, just explaining it in Russian. Bless her heart, she was very patient with me just sitting there babbling on for like twenty minutes before she was like "Abigail, I'm sorry, I'm just too tired." Even though it's pointless to speak Russian to people here, I find myself doing it anyway. It's good practice for me anyway. When we got done, I followed mom upstairs to my parents' room where I promptly started to cry.

I've had that happen a couple of times. Just burst out crying. The first time was actullay the day I made my last blog post. The day before my party. I had stumbled upon a website that listed "the worst roads in the world." Number two were the roads in Yakutsk. A picture of a truck half stuck in mud was accompanied by a little blurb. I read said blurb which was basically not nice about Yakutsk. The last line was something like "Maybe Yakutsk isn't worth visiting after all." I promptly burst out crying. A lot. I felt so hurt and insulted because I lived in Yakutsk. Ten and a half months of my life were dedicated to that city and I know very well that even though it's remote and freezing in the winter, it is a good place to visit.

I'm weird about Russia too. Woe to anyone who makes some comment about Communism. They will quickly be set on the straight and narrow. Russia is not a communist country and has not been so for like 17 years. Woe as well to anyone who makes fun of Russia and/or Yakutsk. I spoke in my bible class today about life in Russia. I passed around a book with pictures of Yakutsk. One girl was flipping pages and came to a picture of a woman in Yakutian National Dress. She laughed loudly and asked if it was one of my host moms. I just shot her this evil glare.

Which is odd actually. Because I have no problem making fun of Russia myself. I mean, I don't feel bad about making comments about Vodka, or Russia, or Communists, or I'll make jokes about this country and the Capitalism. That's okay. Yet when other people do it, it irritates me. I felt rather hypocritical about it until someone said it perfectly. They said it's like having a little brother or sister. You can pick on them all you want, but are quick to jump to their defense when someone else does. And that, I think, is exactly what it is. I've lived in Russia. I know well, if not intimately, The language, the culture and the people. So I can kind of pick on the faults of the motherland. Yet it bothers me when people who don't know anything make fun because, well, they're just ignorant about it. Because they don't know about Russia, their jokes are coming straight from stereotypes. It irritates me. Usually, when a comment based on a stereotype comes out as just someone not knowing. Perhaps they ask it as a question. I assume that they just don't know and that they'd like to know so I'm usually pretty polite; however, I had some guys today that were just making fun and I...uh...wasn't nearly as polite to them :) Duratskii amerikantsii. But such is my life right now. I have my good and bad days. Just like when I was in Russia.

Some days are basically good with only a few thoughts on Russia. Most days though I think about it a lot. Or at least, the russian speaking part of it. In some ways, I try not to think about it. It's my defense tactic.

Being Back

It was a long trip. Last Friday was the longest day of my life. Seriously. I got up at 3am moscow time and went to sleep in my own bed at 3am Eastern Time. 12 hours right? no problem. You have to remember that between those times, I had a 4 hour flight, an 8 hour flight and a two hour flight. Plus layovers in various airports. I had many adventures, like almost getting on a flight to Detriot, but the upshot is that I started crying when, at 9pm eastern time, my airplane landed in Cleveland. All I could think was "Oh my goodness, I'm in Cleveland. I'm home, I'm home."

It was a shock on the flight from Moscow. I flew Swiss Air from Moscow to Zurich. Why was it a shock? Because Swiss Air speaks German and Swiss Air speaks English. They do a little French too. So it was a bit of a shock to be on this airplane and have the in-flight magazines not be in Russian, and to have people automatically address me in English. I was freaking out and had to mentally tell myself that "I need to be doing English."

I've been here almost a week and the novelty is starting to fade. I mean, yeah, I'm still happy to be hanging with my parents. To be able to see my family and friends. But in some ways, I no longer feel connected to them. My feelings are as changing as the wind. Mostly I don't want to be here. But my problem is that I'm not sure that I'd want to be back in Russia either. I don't know where I want to be.

I feel bad that I haven't updated more. Mom said people had started asking her why I wasn't updating. The truth is that I've been really busy. I feel like I've been going almost non-stop since I got back last week. What have I been doing? Well, aside from a family dinner and a party tomorrow, I've been doing what I've always done. I run errands with my parents, I go to church, I occasionally meet with friends. Yet somehow now, it seems like too much. Probably because I've gotten used to having entirely too much free time.

I haven't gotten back in to watching American TV yet. Just haven't felt like it. Don't really play a lot of Wii either aside from Wii fit and occasional guitar hero. I've been reading a lot. Working on Pride and Prejudice right now. I sleep a lot too. I tell you what, it hits 8 or 9 pm and I just crash. But I don't dare go to bed until at least ten. The one night, I went to bed at 8:45. Bad idea because as I result, I found myself nice and awake at about 4:30 in the morning. Fun.

What else has been happening? Well, I've got myself a cold, On the way home from the airport I forgot the English word for smetana (It's sour cream by the way) and I occasionally find myself asking questions with Russian intonation rather than English. Oh and I've gotten rather sick of people asking me "how was your trip?" I mean normally, it wouldn't be a problem but after ten and a half months of ups and downs in a foreign country, how do you answer that. I mean saying the standard "good" is just so inappropriate. Mostly I just say "different" and leave it at that though I'm seriously thinking about just giving a good russian answer, "normalnye"

Sometimes I do things that are really rude without thinking, and then I'm like "Oh, man, I'm really really sorry about that." Sometimes I find myself reaching for the button on the back of the toilet to flush it, before realizing it's not there, or I'll reach for the little triangularly folded paper napkins on the table and then remember you have to ask for them.

I've been enjoying American food, but every time I eat it, I can't help thinking about all the Russian food that I can no longer eat. What do I miss most? Caviar, Salo and Ice cream.

I was at a wedding yesterday. Watching the Bride and Groom the just seemed so young. Although actually, the couple is a year or so older than me. I told mom when I got home last night that some days I watch people and I feel positively Ancient.

She says it'll pass and I know she's right, but you can't come out of Russia, or exchange for that matter, without being changed in some inexplicable way. My friends tell me I'll get used to life here again, that I'll get "Back to normal." That makes me want to scream. I don't have some disease that I'm overcoming and can then return to society. There's nothing broken about me.

Well, I guess that's all. At least for right now. But stay tuned for more drama and excitment from the land of Capitalism and Free Trade. (And yes, I've been thinking that rather sarcastically lately though I have no reason to.) Oh, by the way, if you know me and haven't heard, My welcome back party's tomorrow. It's at the church from 2-4 so feel free to drop in and have all your burning questions answered. I should really go finish my power point for that too.

Конец Мира

Ну вот и все. So I'm leaving tomorrow. It's nuts. It doesn't feel real but at the same time it feels entirely too real. Ten and a half months ago do you know what I was doing? I was hanging out with my friends for the last time. And now it's the opposite. Just over ten and a half months ago my parents were taking me to the airport, and my mom was saying "If anything, we'll meet right back here in Ten and a half months." While we were at the baggage claim. That's something that's stuck with me over the last ten months. The fact that at the end of it, we'd meet right back where we started.

I've been busy the last few days, meeting with friends and my 'family' here. Yesterday, I made a call to my parents working out last minute details on a hotel in Moscow. A 15 hour layover means spending the night.

It's just weird. Now I have to go back. I have to be a grown-up. Go to college, get a job, that kind of thing. I'm not sure I'm ready to be an adult. Not sure I'm ready to go back to life in Ohio where I have responsibilities to people and places and things.

And I can't be a kid, because I don't feel like a kid at all anymore. I don't know when it happened, exactly, but at some point, I realized that I hadn't felt like a teenager in a long time. Hadn't felt like a kid in a long time. So I can't go back. Only forward. I just keep telling myself that going back is going to be the start of another adventure, but after being here, it's hard to think of it that way.

It's strange to think that I can go back to my native language now. That in two days, I'll be speaking only english. Seeing only english, hearing only english. It's depressing. I don't want to stop speaking russian. I like it.

Okay, so maybe this post is rather disoriented. Sorry, that's how I'm feeling at the moment. It's all so weird. I can't believe I'm going back to Ohio.

Even though there's things I hate about this city, I'm always going to have a soft spot for it. It's like the fact that there's things I love and hate about my city back in Ohio. But it's where I was born, where I grew up so I have a soft spot for it. In the same way, I grew up in a sense here. Yakutsk is where I learned about Russia, where I learned about the culture and the language and so in a sense my Russian self grew up here.

Okay, I've talked enough. Consider this my last post from Russia. The next one comes from American soil.

Leaving

So, Thursday morning I head to the airport for the last time. My bags are mostly packed and I've been half living out of my suitcases the last week or so. These last three days, I'm going to be saying my final goodbyes to the people and places here that I've come to love. I feel like I should tell you about my weekend. Tell you about how I went to the Opening Ceremony of the Children of Asia games. Tell you about the odd Rotary New Year. But why? I mean, I feel like not talking about Russia on here, because well, I'm going to be home in four days and then you can ask me what you want to know, And if I'm not going to see you, then drop me an e-mail. I mean, I just feel like telling you how I feel. And this is it. Almost every day the past week or so I've cried. It'll be random things that set me off. Little things sometimes. The kids playing in the fountain on Ploshad Lenina. The other day, it was watching my Russian family interact with each other, and thinking about how in a week I'd be doing the same thing with my family back home.

It's weird because I think it's finally hit me that I'm leaving. But It's just so weird because I've just been living here, doing my thing. I've finally gotten used to life here. The rhythm of it, and now I'm leaving and let's be honest. I don't know if I'll ever come back. And that hurts.

A part of me could see me coming back. Renting an apartment, teaching english for a couple years (Even though I adamantly told my mother that I never wanted to be a teacher) Visiting Elena Ivanovna once a week, finding myself a Yakutian husband (ha ha) It's like this little thing in my head. But I don't know if that's the direction God has planned out for me. So for now, I'm wrapping up this adventure, and going to meet the next one head on. Life is always interesting. And I live it once. Might as well make the best of it.

Homeward Bound-A Folk Song

(No, I didn't write this. It's a folk song. Sort of. sang it for a competition in like 8th grade. Or seventh. Don't remember. But thought it would be appropriate to post)

In the quiet, misty morning
When the moon has gone to bed
When the sparrows stop their singing
And the sky is clear and red
When the Summer's ceased its gleaming
When the corn is past its prime
When Adventure's lost its meaning
I'll be homeward bound in time.

Bind me not to the pasture,
Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling
And I'll return to you somehow.

If you find it's me you're missing
If you're hoping I'll return
To your thoughts I'll soon be listening
In the road I'll stop and turn.
Then the wind will set me racing
As my journey nears its end
And the path I'll be retracing
When I'm homeward bound again.

Bind me not to the pasture,
Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling
And I'll return to you somehow.

...
One week from tomorrow, I fly out of Yakutsk...

Sadness

So, I started packing last week, I don't have to do it all at the last minute. My heart's been really heavy the last couple weeks. I realized today as I was jamming stuff into a suitcase that it wasn't fitting. So I took it out and started putting it back in in a different order. And I burst out crying. See, this is my last full week in Yakutsk. In 11 days I'll be meeting my family at the airport. And I want it to be here because I'm tired of feeling sad like this. Tired of trying to Jam an entire lifetime into two suitcases weighing no more than 50lbs, and two carry-ons. How do you do it? But what's weird is that even though my time here ends in a week and a half, life goes on as normal. I get up, get ready for the day, go walk, spend too much money. So life goes on. It's like when I was leaving the states. The world doesn't stop because I'm leaving.

So for now, I'm doing the best I can to shove stuff into suitcases, and enjoy the little time I have here left, and hang in there for another 11 days.

Ysyakh-Yakutian New Year

So, Now that I've been to at least three Ysyakh celebrations, I feel that I can safely say I am an Ysyakh expert. Or at least I know more about it than your Average American.

Ysyakh is, as the title of the post says, the Yakutian celebration of summer and the New Year. But it's also much more than that. My guidebook says that Ysyakh usually takes place the weekend after the Summer Solstice, which is the truth, but actually, Ysyakh is the big summer holiday and only the big City-wide Ysyakh takes place the weekend after the Solstice.

The smaller Ysyakhs are like family reunions. It's a chance for people who haven't seen each other in a year or so to get together and catch up and what's going on. While Ysyakhs vary in size, there are some things that remain the same.

Ysyakh is held in an open field out in nature. You go and when you first arrive, you set up camp. This involves spreading out blankets sometimes, putting up a little tent and hauling out the masses of food. There's no set menu of stuff you eat at Ysyakh but there are a few key traditions. Such as horse meat, and Koumiss which is fermented milk. Traditionally, it's mare's milk, but now a-days it's often cow, sometimes goat. Other than those two things, the menu varies. Chicken, Pirozhki (Pastries filled with meat) and sliced cucumbers and tomatos are very popular. To drink there's usually in addition to Koumiss, water, beer, and juice.

The events are in some ways standard as well. There's usually a program of welcome. There are usually singing contests and fellowship. There's usually Sports Games as well where young men compete in various events to prove their strength (wow, I sound like one of the translated from Russian guidebooks you find here.) These games include such things as wrestling, Seeing who can pull a stick out of another person's grasp, and seeing how far you can carry a 116kg stone before dropping it.

The City-wide Ysyakh is Ysyakh on steroids. It's absolutely huge. It's kind of like the county fair, only with less rides. There are booths selling everything from toys, to souvenirs, to food. There are horse rides, and stages where various concerts and things take place. Everything relating to Yakutian culture and done in the Yakutian language of course. At the big Ysyakh, there's an opening ceremony where a shaman sprinkles koumiss on the ground. Typically the City-wide celebration starts on a saturday at noon and finishes the next day at six in the evening. At three a.m. On sunday morning, there's a celebration to welcome the sun. I don't know what all that entails because I didn't get to attend that part.

The Ysyakh celbrations usually begin around the last weekend in May and continue through July. If you would like to know more about Ysyakh, or would just like to see some pictures and press from it, you can do so at The Official Ysyakh Website But I warn you that it is all in Russian.

Russia Update

Hi all!

I know it's been a long time since my last update and I"m going to be honest. The reason for this is because I've been putting it off. I mean, what do you say to a group of people you're going to be seeing soon? Not only that, but how do you describe all of this? I'm so confused right now. In some ways it feels like these final few weeks are harder than the first because the truth is, I'm ready to go home.

I think sometimes, the exchange students who feel this way don't like to admit it because it's at this point that many of our peers are having such a good time, they don't want to leave. And it's not that my exchange has been bad, in some ways it's like the defining moment of my life up until now. It's just I'm tired and ready to go home and have a break before starting the next adventure.

At least I'm not as scared as I was. For a while there, I was terrified to come home. At District Conference we were asked how we felt about the whole "Soon going home" concept. I answered "Afraid" and started to cry. It's hard to explain why. I was afriad because what if everything back home has changed and what if nothing has? THankfully though the raw terror in the pit of my stomach stage is past and I'm dealing with it.

Now the big question I'm wrestling with is how to share what I've learned, what I've experienced here. My mom said that we should have a welcome home party about a week after I get back. She told that it would be good for me to do a fifteen to twenty minute presentation. I know at some point I'm going to have to do one for my sponsering Rotary club as well. And that's when I realized firstly, How do you fit ten and a half months into fifteen minutes? Secondly, How in the world do I share this? One of the most depressing things I've realized recently is that as soon as I leave here and share my experiences with people back home, I'm going to be talking to people who've never experienced these things. I know, it sounds really odd when I write it like that. Like it doesn't make any sense. But it's like this. I can tell you what it feels like to lay on ice in June, to realize you suddenly understand a new word, to hear the rough sing-song of the Yakutian language. I can even show you pictures. But it's not the same as actually experiencing it.

So that's what's been bothering me most of all the last week or so. The fact that I won't be able to share my life here with you well enough. Maybe it sounds stupid, but that's one of the reasons for coming here in the first place. I wanted to learn what life in Russia was really like so I could share it with the people back home and break down sterotypes, just like I've been doing here with America.

I've spent the last nine and a half months doing everything in my power to become Russian. It makes sense to carry toilet paper around with you, to pack whole meals with you when you travel, even for a short time. It no longer bothers me to eat yougurt that's been sitting unrefrigerated on a boat for two days, or eat meat that's been sitting out most of the day. And when there's a 50% off sale on plane tickets because of the March 8th holiday and your usually 10,000 rouble tickets only cost you 8,000 you just shrug your shoulders and go on with life because it's just "Russian Tradition"

The irony is that after spending all this time learning and becoming this not quite russian, not quite american person, in Two weeks I'm going to be returning to a culture that expects me to be fully American, and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that. It's not that I don't love my birth country, but after something like this I don't think I can ever go back to being fully American.

Having said that, I hope you all have patience with me at first. I have a feeling I might be a little confused and disoriented sometimes. lol.

That's basically all I've got right now.

Adventures At the Waterfall and Buluus

I thought it would be fun to do this post mostly in pictures. Hope you all enjoy.




Crossing to the other side of the Lena River




The main Road out of Yakutsk. This is the one that goes to Nirungry. Looks fun doesn't it?

Our little group of adventurers minus Egor's nephew who's taking the picture.




The Hazards of the road



Wait, Where is the road?




At the Waterfall at last!



The Wild Abigail creeps through the forest of Russia's Far East



Random Ponies in the Road. Actually, horses. Yakutian Horses




What happens when you blow a tire in the middle of nowhere? The menfolk change it!



We Finally arrived at Buluus where the snow never melts!



What is this?



That's right! It's SNOW!



I can now say I've made a snow angel in June!



The Wild Abigail in her natural Habitat. Captured here while drinking from the stream.



The view from the top.

And that was our adventure!

Quickness

I don't have long. Feel like I haven't updated in forever. I'll try to do a couple of longer more detailed updates when I can. Basically the upshot is after district conference, I got sick in a major way. Not fun. Especially since Emmaline, my lovely Canadian exchange friend was going to be showing up here. So I did my best to get better and was mostly so by the time she came.

We had many adventures. Some of which I will follow up in a later post in more detail. Some of which you may never hear. The upshot though is that I've now seen Ice in June, Drunk water straight from a creek, seen the main road out of Yaktusk, Been underground surrounded by permafrost, Seen most of a play in Yakutian and talked about various boys in English without them understanding a word. Yeah. Life it good.

Oh and we had Graduation. I'll tell you about that too in more detail when I get a chance, but honestly, it wasn't nearly that big of a deal. Last Bell was much more interesting and exciting Culture-wise. This past week went really fast thanks to our visitor. It was nice. Now, I've got twenty days left until I get home. It's weird to think that three saturdays from now I'm going to be sitting down to a home-cooked meal with my entire family. Surreal. I want it to feel like I'm going home soon but it doesn't. I have my tickets, I'm going to be packing. Why doesn't it feel real? But then, I had the same problem coming the other way too. It didn't hit me that I'd be spending ten months in Russia until I actually got here.

Anyway, that's all for now as my internet time is limited. Look for more updates in the next few days.

One Month

I am leaving this city in One month. One month. That's four weeks, or thirty days. That's not long.

For those of you who don't know, I spent friday through monday in Khabarovsk for the district conference. In some ways it was so much fun! It was great to see my exchange buddies again and I got to meet some Rotarians that I'd heard about, but had never met.

But Khabarovsk wasn't as amazing as the trip in March. I mean, the city was beautiful and all (What I saw of it anyway,) and it gave me more funny stories, but it was different than the other trip. For one we weren't all there. For another it almost felt like the carefree days of our previous trip were over. We're leaving. Becoming rebounds. Some of us have already left, some of us are getting ready to leave, and others are stretching out the time as long as possible.

It was like there was this unspoken thing hanging above us the entire weekend. There were a lot of tears. It was the last time some of us were going to see each other. It was tough. Especially when we had a meeting as students with some guys for the district, it was great because we talked about where we'd been and exchange and where we were going, and then we started talking about going home, and I just started crying. Because I'm scared. It's so hard to explain why. I never thought going back to friends and family, the place I came from would be scary. But I'm terrified. I can't really say what I'm scared of, but I'm terrified that everything's changed and nothing has. I'm terrified that no one will understand, no one will listen. Part of me just wants to go home and hide. Yet at the same time, I want to find places to speak and people to talk to, ways I can share my experience and let people know what life here is really like.

I had another revelation while we were there. For the first time in my life I felt an age gap between myself and other exchange students. I think I'm ready to move on, but at the same time the fact that exchange is ending means that I have to go home, have to be an adult. Have to be responsible for things and deal with things such as college. In short, I'm terrified.

Anniversary

June first was my nine month anniversary. As time has been going on, I've found that the days that are my month markers have become less significant. But I remembered June first because it's my second to last month marker. Why am I writing a blog about it? Because it's frustrating in some ways. I feel like it's only been in the last month or so that I've actually gotten comfortable with my life here, and the language. I mean It's great because I'm not afraid of the language or the culture anymore, But in 38 days I'm going to be getting off a plane in Cleveland, greet my family and probably feel like a foreigner among my own country-men. Why? Well because let's be perfectly honest. I've spent the last nine months and two days trying my best to not be American. I've tried to adapt to this culture, and this life and this language, and I've finally done it. Now I'm going to be going home.

38 days. When you say it like that, it's not very long. One thing I've learned is how fast time goes. I mean really. In some ways this has felt like the longest year of my life and in others, it hasn't. I don't know. I think for the most part, I'm excited to be going home. I'm ready to see the Family. In other ways, I'm scared because even though I don't know exactly how, I know I've changed. I was reading my first journal the other day. The one that covers september to December and I laughed because I'm not that person anymore. I look back and just think "Wow, I was so Naive. I didn't know anything." And in some ways, I still don't know anything. But in some ways, I know so much more than I ever thought possible. I can't describe the feelings I've been having the past few weeks. Sometimes I just feel disconnected from this place already. Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a dream and one day I'm going to wake up and be back home. And In a sense, I guess that I am.

Esperanto Part 2

Okay, I'm sorry guys, I just have to adress this and then I'm done with this subject.

My post was intended to show that English is a current international language. As Far as I know they don't have to sing in english because many eurovison groups were not. And for the record, I'm not trying to "Force people to Learn my language" I find the fact that they learn and use English interesting. I am very much about people learning other people's languages to better communicate. I mean part of the reason I came to Russia in the first place was to learn Russian better and communicate better with people.

Okay, Having said that, I'm done now.

My First Yskah

On saturday, I got invited to go to a tiny Ysakh with Raisa and some friends and family. For those of you who don't know, Ysakh is the Yakutian New Year. It's a chance to celebrate the coming of warm weather, to meet people and generally hang out. It usually takes place in June, around the solstice. How it works, is that they start small and one weekend you have village Ysakh, the next weekend you have them for the Ulusses or counties and then the weekend after the solstice, there's a city-wide Ysakh.

Anyway, so now that you have a basic idea of what Ysakh is, here's how my first experience with it went. By the way, I'll edit with pictures when the internet at the apartment decides to work again.

So we went to this field out in the middle of nowhere. There were these flags set up in a big s

(A/N For some reason, this post was never finished...))